Mistakes are a funny thing. They are the one thing we never want to make but, without them, how would we ever know the mercy of God?
I used to hate my mistakes and in return, hated myself for making them. I went so far as to believe that even though I was saved and Jesus believed that I was worth saving, I was not worthy of His sacrifice, His using, or His calling.
Shame can do that to a person and it did that to me.
But, God didn’t let it do that to me for long.
My phone lit up with an Uber eats order and as I was accepting it, I kissed my pups and my hubby, and I sprinted out the door. When accepting these orders, you are given two destinations; the first where you are picking up what was ordered and the second; where you are delivering it, the estimated mileage and time it will take, as well as the directions to get to where you’re going.
It was taking me on a route that I knew pretty well and it was going to take me about 14 minutes in total.
Or so I thought.
After driving for a couple of minutes, I knew that I’d be done with this pick up and delivery as quickly as I had accepted it because I knew exactly where I was. I set my phone down and began to enjoy the drive only to look down and find my maps rerouting.
“Huh? That’s weird.” I thought.
I had taken a very unnecessary wrong turn that led me on to the highway.
A very bumpy highway.
With a heavy sigh and a lot of frustration, I continued driving to the next exit only to find my maps frozen at the exact moment that I came up to a three way intersection. I had absolutely no idea which way to go so, naturally, I guessed. You know, used basic logic. And did I guess right?
Absolutely not.
But, thankfully, my maps finally unfroze, leading me to turn back around and deliver the order just moments later. It was during those last few moments that I began to realize that this was an answered prayer, in the most unexpected way.
Smiling and relaxing in the drivers seat, I became so thankful for that bumpy highway because it was then that I realized that my destination and purpose never changed despite my wrong turns, mistakes, and frozen map along the way. Those things only prolonged the time that it would take me to get there.
I spent a long time believing that my mistakes would not only keep me far from Jesus but, that they would keep Him from wanting to be near me at all.
It’s so hard to grasp that Jesus could ever want to be close to us after the things that we’ve done and the mistakes that we’ve made.
Let alone, want to use us for His glory.
Sometimes we may even fear that our mistakes will lead Him to want to give our calling to someone else. Because we just keep messing up and we’re not “getting there” fast enough. I know that I’ve feared that and have asked God many times not too. Letting Him know that I would get there, pleading with Him not to give up on me.
I began to view God through my shame instead of viewing shame through my God – and it led me to believe that I was unusable. But, He taught me a valuable lesson that day. That those wrong turns and mistakes will never change the destination. They will never change the calling. And they will never change Him.
Those wrong turns in the road have already been accounted for because our sin has already been atoned for.
He is with us in the wrong turns and the mistakes, and He’ll always be there to guide us right back.
Because that’s who He is.
We are not powerful enough or sinful enough to turn Him away. It is because of His power and our sin that He sent His Son to die for us. And it is by that death that we are able to live and live to be used by God.
Isaiah 30:18;
“Therefore the Lord will wait, that He may be gracious to you; and therefore He will be exalted, that He may have mercy on you.
For the Lord is a God of Justice; Blessed are all those who wait for Him.”
XOXO,
T.S.