Today, I woke up and decided to watch a sermon. It was on David and Goliath. I didn’t decide to listen out of a responsibility to Christianity, religious reasons, or even obedience. I watched it simply because I missed it. A few minutes in, I realized that God had never left me.
A year prior to being born again, I read my bible every morning, trying to understand it. After becoming born again, I became mesmerized by it and I wanted to consume myself with the Word of God, I wanted to know Jesus. But, somewhere down the road, that passion dwindled down and it became chore like. However, if I’m being honest, I was scared to miss a session because I was afraid that was the only way that God and I spent alone time together. I was fearful that if I didn’t read even a verse, that God would become angry with me and leave me, withholding His love from me. I would pray for a new desire to read His Word and it never came. I was confused and became even more fearful. I thought to myself, “does this mean that I don’t love God as much? or that I don’t want to get to know Him anymore?”
Absolutely not.
Little did I know that God would teach me one of the greatest things that I could ever know about Himself and as a follower of Jesus. It’s hard not to get wrapped up in the religious activities of being a Christian. Going to church, reading Gods Word, serving our community, etc. Those things are all wonderful but, it’s important that we ask ourselves why we are participating in them. I never wanted to get wrapped up in the ‘religiousness’ of it all but, I had, without even realizing it.
God blessed me with a new job in the beginning of May that came with odd hours, so when I left for my training, my bible stayed tucked away in my backpack. I always carried it with me, sometimes even pulling it out but, never opening it. The next thing I knew, an entire month had passed. An entire month without reading my bible. But, not an entire month without God. Jesus was there, the whole time. He was with me in the car, when I went to sleep and when I woke up, when I walked down a hallway, or ate some lunch. I realized that He had never left me. He heard every prayer and experienced the tears, happiness, and joy with me. He answered miracle prayers and gave me strength daily. I found myself talking to Him more and leaning on Him 24 hours a day because our ‘sessions’ never ended. I worshipped Him more and I realized that he showed me who He was when I let go of doing everything that I thought that I should being doing to feel the presence of the Lord.
And today, as I was listening to a sermon, I felt pure peace, because I realized another depth to our relationship with the Lord. It’s in the small moments. While we’re cooking dinners, while were with our families, while we’re driving, while we’re working out, while we’re creating, and while we’re working that He’s with us.
And He’s with us all the time.
The Holy Spirit led me to watch this sermon because He wanted to show me that our relationship was real and that our time together was never based on my actions but, always on His love and His grace.
If He has you engulfed in His Word, READ IT! But, if you’ve noticed that a certain fire has burned out, seek where He is igniting another one.
XOXO,
T.S.